simply me taking notes

adventures of people watching and such…

reflections…a vulnerable piece October 21, 2010

Filed under: reflections — sunflower @ 5:10 am
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here lately i’ve been feeling some kind of way.
tears streaming down my face,
emotions clouding my mind’s space
pacing in a room full of my thoughts
but these feelings are hard to convey
what can i say
even if i could figure it out
you would look at me with a look of dismay

so i keep to myself,a stranger to the world
i don’t want you to know i exist
for if you get too close,
you may see the damaged girl
i can make up stories to explain the scars
but these burns felt so good,
better than these never-ending internal wars

i don’t know if it is self-hatred that i have developed
or a depression that has enveloped
my mind,body and soul alike
but i want to know what it feels like to be alive
to truly live
and not just go through the motions
i can numb myself from the emotional pain
but there are words that should be spoken
if my heart remains broken, is silence still golden?

from the world, i remain disconnected
but being lonely eats at my soul
and i long to meet a woman that i can connect with
thoughts and feelings intercepted
my love is a contagious disease
and if you give me your heart,
i’ll be sure to infect it

i am on a journey of getting to know me
and in doing so, i have realized
my mind is my
worst
ENEMY
deep breaths never prepare me to see
and i’m finding it hard to believe
that the person in the mirror
is
me

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she is truth September 30, 2010

Filed under: observations — sunflower @ 4:02 pm
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i wrote this about a friend that i developed an incredibly strong bond with…we are one in the same and i truly appreciate her presence in my life

you
are
a breath of fresh air
unlike anything i’ve taken in
simple
abundant
element of truth
almost impossible to come by
contact with pollutants,never-ending
craving to experience something different
refreshing
pure
inhale you to awaken my senses
exhaling, just to inhale again
mind
body
gasping for more as you envelop my mind
reluctant
afraid
but comforted by your inquisitive nature
its hard not to think of you
want
you